Giving People What They Need

Not long ago I met a lady at a networking function. I told her I was in the divorce business. She had informed me she was recently divorced. I asked her “how did that go”. She said, “it went well but when it was all over they offered me no support”. She judged my competitor negatively even though they did exactly what she paid them to do.

This shocked me.  I’ve never provided that kind of support to my divorce clients either. Do some of my clients feel the same way she does?

In 20+ years in business no client has ever asked me for help beyond getting them their divorce. I could not help but think that over the years I have lacked sensitivity and awareness! I console myself with the fact that we still have an A+ Reputation with the BBB and there is rarely a week that goes by where we do not get a 5-star review on Google Plus. Plus, since our service are uncontested, most of my clients only want me to take care of the divorce and nothing more.

The moral of the story—not everyone wants or needs my help beyond getting them their divorce. But, then there are people that want help and don’t know how to ask for it. Problem is, beyond my divorce services, I really don’t know what people want or expect of me.

My 2018 New Year’s Resolutions

My focus in 2018, therefore, is to be more sensitive to my client’s needs. In the words of Maya Angelou:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

So, I thought this story would be the inspiration for this newsletter.  I’ve decided to share with you wisdom inspired by others as a source of inspiration for your 2018 New Year’s Resolutions.

Why is a divorce specialist giving you tips on setting New Year’s Eve Resolutions? A happier healthier you will help you get through a relationship breakup, heal a relationship or get more out of a new relationship. I’ve often wondered how many relationships would not have ended had both parties brought their best into the relationship!

Also, if you will indulge me, at the end of this newsletter I am going to ask you to share your wisdom with me—so that I can better serve my clients and maybe you, in the future!

Wishing you an abundance of health, wealth and happiness in 2018 (and if you receive more than you need, then please share it with others),

Warmest Regards,

Deborah L. Ward

Are you happy?

When I was a young child and feeling sad, my older sister said to me “no one can make you happy but yourself”. To this day, I think these words of wisdom are brilliant! They have served me throughout my life.

What are you going to do to make 2018 a Happy Year for you? What would truly make you happy?

If you are having troubles mastering your emotions, check out these tips from Tony Robbins:   Master Your Emotion

Who do you hang out with?

I’m also a fan of the words of Jack Nicholson in “As Good as It Gets” when talking to Helen Hunt’s character. He said, “You make me want to be a better man”.

In 2018, who are you going to surround yourself with—that makes you want to be a better person? Who helps bring out the best in you? It could be a best friend or family member. Or, it could be a mentor or coach. Find someone that can help you accelerate your goals.

According to Jim Rohn:

You are the average of the five people
you spend the most time with.”

It’s one thing to set goals. But, it’s also important to create an environment that will help you succeed.

It’s naïve to suggest that you need to dump all the people that are a negative influence in your life. If possible and it’s the right thing to do, great—do it. But, if not, try to fill up as much of your time and space with people and things that uplift you to minimize all the negative stuff in your life.

p.s. Be the person others want to hang out with—positive, supportive uplifting and motivating! If you find it hard to be that person, google tips on how to be that person.

Video Learning

Wrinkle your brain! What learning activities will you add in 2018 that will help you professionally and personally?

In Youtube, my ABSOLUTE recommendation is to bookmark several educational videos or FLAG channels that you enjoy. You can even organize your bookmarks by topics (ie. professional development, inspiration, healthy eating, golf, politics, etc.).

Try and watch 30 minutes of educational videos every single day in 2018.

More importantly, when you log into YouTube go straight to your channels and only watch your designated videos. Don’t get trapped into watching all the mindless videos that do nothing for you.

A final thought. Create one or two channels and learn about something that is interesting to your spouse or child!

Here are a few links you could consider:

Foodmatters TV – Health Documentaries

TedTalks – Best ideas from trusted voices

99U – Actionable Insights from Industry Leaders

PragerU – Provides Clarity on LIfe’s Biggest Issues

BigThink – Get Smarter Faster—explores big ideas from thought leaders ranging from Bill Clinton to Bill Nye.

Book Summaries – Websites, Channels and Apps that have book summaries.

MentorBox – Video Book Summaries by Authors

Books on Achieving Financial Wealth

I’m sure most of you have heard that if you study something for 10,000 hours you become an expert (Anders Principle).  Not sure if it is true, but intuitively it makes sense.  Financially for most of us, there is always room for improvement.

That’s why I’ve decided to add learning about ‘financial wealth’ as a separate topic, even though I’ve already talked about education above.

Must reads for 2017:

12 Books to read in 2017 if you want to get rich.   If the idea of getting rich offends you, then you can give your extra money to charity!  I’ve also taken this article and created a list of the 12 books for ease in printing.

Goal Setting Tools

Before you write out your 2018 goals, brainstorm. Examples of questions you can ask yourself include:

  • I would feel less stress if …
  • My work situation would improve if …
  • I would feel better about myself if …
  • I would like to learn about …
  • My top 10 goals for 2018 are …
  • My goals over the next 10 years are …
  • My goals for 2018 are …
  • Before I die I’d like to …
  • The top 10 things I am going to do for me are …
  • The top 10 things I could do for others are …
  • I would sleep better at night if …

Once you’ve brainstormed everything, track it! Write down your must-dos. You can explore software programs to help track your goals. I even found this article on tools for setting and tracking goals. Best Tools for Setting and Tracking Goals. Currently, I am exploring Microsoft Planner. Regardless, whatever you do, track your goals down. Its good to have short and long-term goals with specific steps and deadlines on how you are going to achieve each goal.


Master your emotions, surround yourself with positive people, wrinkle your brain, master your finances, and change your shoulds into musts. I’ll leave you with one final story below. I hope it will be a source of inspiration for your musts.

How Can I Serve You Better?

Can you indulge me and complete the survey below?

If you are divorced or separated from a long-term common law relationship, can you share your wisdom with me? Click the button below to access a quick 1 minute survey.